I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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