if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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