No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
