If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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