Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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