hell yes lets make some ravioli
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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