Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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