she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize