Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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