if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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