We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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