1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just gift wrapped bread.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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