Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
