my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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