i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
