Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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