Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
