It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
