butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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