So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
