Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
