all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
