Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize