oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
