im about as happy as oj after his trial
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Randomize
