I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
