Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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