Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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