If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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