she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
