I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize