Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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