I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Boobs speak an international language.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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