New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
