u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
