yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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