my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
