Non-Jews are for practice
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
