Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
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and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
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Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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