Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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