i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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