Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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