There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
