I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
we should paint friendship bongs
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