Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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