I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
