My brain says no but my pants say off.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
