How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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