I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm drive I can fine osifer
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
