I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
