So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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