Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
