im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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