We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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