what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
