I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Too much gin, very little bucket
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
