you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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