oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
