so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
