My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
